


You're the one

by hizururuler



Series: beginnings [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blushing, But mostly fluff, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Kiss, Fluff, Humor, Implied/Referenced Jearmin, Levi Ackerman's A+ Parenting, Manga Spoilers, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Non-Binary Hange Zoë, Original Character(s), Romance, Slow Dancing, tons of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:28:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25994461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hizururuler/pseuds/hizururuler
Summary: After chapter 123 of the manga took place, Eren never left the Survey Corps and went rogue to Marley. Mikasa was never able to answer his question under the night sky, due to being interrumpted by the old man and their friends before she could even say a word.So Eren stayed because he was still hopeful that his future memories could change, and he could find a different, peaceful solution to their conflict. All, because of his uncertainty.A ball was being held in honour of Marley celebrating exactly one-hundred and eleven years since they took back their empire from Eldia. Kiyomi had invited part of the Survey Corps to attend it, so long as they kept their identities secret, which meant they had to create different ones.The entire goal of the Survey Corps being there was to test the water as to how the wealthy population of Marley, and their secrets and gossip, could help them in the incoming, inevitable war.···Or, Eren and Mikasa pretend to be an engaged couple, and the implications of the situation have an unexpected outcome for the both of them.
Relationships: Mikasa Ackerman/Eren Yeager
Series: beginnings [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1886665
Comments: 10
Kudos: 147





	You're the one

**Author's Note:**

> First of all I wanna thank Kurai (@BloodyKira_ on twitter) for editing the fic and perfecting it, owe her my life  
> Second of all, this is literally just a ball of cheesy shit (especially towards the end) that I wanted to get off my chest so I hope you like it.  
> This was written before chapter 131 of the manga came out btw lol  
> Please help these babies because they are oh so very awkward and they are pining HARD  
> Also I can't be bothered with descriptions of places so just imagine the ballroom to be the one in Marley arc where Gabi, Falco etc were working as waiters, but bigger. thank you.  
> And to clarify, I tried to make this as on character as possible, but Eren isn't as sad in the fic as he would have been in canon. Not much was coming out of the concept of him being numb and sad all the time, so I changed just a bit.  
> Now enjoy! :)

Kiyomi's mansion hadn't changed in the two months that passed since they last had stayed in. Not that it even had the time to, given how busy that woman was. She probably barely even lived there to begin with.

Mikasa had fond memories of that place, or at least, fond memories of when they stayed there. The city of Liberio, the ice cream, her close friends discovering the modern Marley technology, blurry memories of ingesting more alcohol than she should or than she ever did... and most of all, Eren.

Every time she tried to remember anything from that week, her mind couldn't help but wander to that moment.

_What am I to you?_

What would she have said? What answer could she have given? Mikasa didn’t really know, even till this day. Although it was pretty clear in her consciousness that what she felt for Eren was definitely not fraternal or platonic love, she also didn't want to label it with a specific word, even though her subconsciousness knew. She didn't want to say it out loud or openly admit it.

The moment had never been brought up between them ever since. She half wished it had, but was also glad it hadn't. For she is fully aware of how her knees go weak when it comes to him, and she hates feeling weak.

Which brought her to the present moment.

A ball was being held in honour of Marley celebrating exactly one-hundred and eleven years since they took back their empire from Eldia. Kiyomi had invited part of the Survey Corps to attend it, so long as they kept their identities secret, which meant they had to create different ones.

The entire goal of the Survey Corps being there was to test the water as to how the wealthy population of Marley, and their secrets and gossip, could help them in the incoming, inevitable war.

"Well," Levi raised his voice, crossing his arms. "I know you shitheads don't know discipline," he creased his eyebrows and looked at Sasha and Connie, who gaped and sulked as the words left his mouth. "But pretending to be someone else is not a hard task when given guidance. Hange and I assigned stories for all of you to follow." With that said, he picked up a small stack of papers and started handing them to those present in the room. "These will guide you on what you have to act as and how to react to certain situations."

“There is one man in particular that we’re interested in,” Hange said, taking the lead. “His name is Ralph Flueber. There is a photograph of him in the documents just given to you.”

Mikasa looked at the photo in front of her, examining the man portrayed in it. Ralph’s appearance was that of a small, old man on the chubbier side, with small, grey eyes and glasses.

“We have to locate him and get some insight onto what his ideals are. Judging by what people say, he’s a very compassionate person who has funded and participated in several charities.” Hange shrugged, doubting that such a thing could be true. “As he’s a really influential and wealthy man, if there were any chances at all of him supporting our cause, we should reach out to him immediately.”

“If he’s so compassionate with eldians, wouldn’t he have at least already given part of his fortune to the people living in Liberio interment zone?” Jean pointed out.

Armin nodded, agreeing with Jean. The room fell silent for a few moments, weighing in how small the chances of success were.

"I'm excited!" Hange interrupted the silence suddenly, clapping their hands enthusiastically. “We’re always under so much stress, this is a great opportunity to let loose a little bit and forget about who we are, while we eat and drink some of Marley’s best delicacies." They kept saying, with a large smile on their face.

"Calm down, four eyes" Levi scowled. "Don't let yourself get blinded by it, or we will all be in serious danger. We still have a duty to fulfil."

Hange put their hands on their hips and smirked at him, "You always want to ruin all the fun, don't you, Levi?"

"Tch." He said, rolling his eyes. "Anyways," he looked back at the 104th. "I hope I can trust you all to not blow up our covers and get us all killed. Dismissed."

"Yes, sir!" They all chanted back at them; hands at their hearts in the usual salute manner.

Everybody spread out, heading to their rooms and reading the papers held in their hands at the same time. All, except Eren, Mikasa noticed. His eyes a little bit wider than usual as he read his paper. A slight, almost unconceivable blush spread across his cheeks. A strange reaction coming from Eren, if anything.

Mikasa hadn’t read hers yet. She didn’t mind, she would do what she had to in order to carry out the mission. However, Eren’s reaction to his role picked at her curiosity. So, she read her paper.

_Oh._

_Now_ she understood.

Her feet started moving on their own before she even noticed.

“Commander Hange,” She said as she got close to them, realizing then that she didn’t think about what she was going to say to her superior. “I… W- why do we exactly have to play these roles? D- do we really have to?” Mikasa realized that by now her face must be beet red.

“Oh, the roles? They’re pretty interesting, don’t you think?” Hange remarked, adjusting their glasses. “It’s like playing a part in a play! I wish I could have done that when I was younger...”

“Hange, who wrote them?” Mikasa insisted.

“Hm…” They scratched their head. It took them a moment to remember before saying, “I think yours was written by Levi. Is there a problem with them?”

_That midget._

“I’ll talk to him, thank you.” Mikasa said as she left searching for Levi.

In her head, she had no idea as to why the Captain, of all people, would write this story for her. She never even thought about Levi having enough creativity for story writing and specifically not this type of stories.

Mikasa kept speeding up her steps until she reached him in one of the hallways of the mansion. She cleared her throat and stood her ground.

“Captain. I need to talk to you about something.”

As he turned around, his left eyebrow arched.

“What is it, Mikasa?”

She felt ridiculous. She didn’t even know what to say in order to convince him about changing the roles’ story. She wasn’t even sure she _wanted_ to.

But it was embarrassing and made her feel weak, which she hated the most. So, she would do her best for both her and Eren to be comfortable.

“What exactly is the purpose of this?” She said pointedly, as she showed him the paper held in her hand.

Levi looked at the paper, then back at her. He took some time to answer.

“I didn’t think you would actually confront me about it.” He retorted as he turned around and kept walking.

The taller girl felt more infuriated by him. She, however, held the emotions in, as she moved following him. It wasn’t the first time she had to with Levi.

“I’m not comfortable with the implications of it, sir. I’m quite certain Eren isn’t eithe-”

“Oh, cut the crap, will you?” He cut her off. “I have eyes, Mikasa. We all do. You’ve wished to get a chance like this with that brat for years.” He put his hands in his pockets and let out a breath before saying, “Kiyomi came up with the idea. You and Eren will pretend to be engaged to get married so that the Marley higher ups would believe that the future Hizuru ruler has her shit together, which is the main reason why Kiyomi invited us here in the first place.”

Mikasa went quiet, stopping dead in her tracks. Future Hizuru ruler? That is… not… what she had in mind. The girl knew she somehow had a responsibility when it came to Hizuru, but she was no ruler, that was never something that she had asked for. It didn’t make sense to her.

“So, you will follow your orders and carry out your mission, soldier. You can think about your future later. Understood?” The shorter man said, looking straight into her eyes with a questioning and an annoyed eyebrow raised.

Mikasa saw a lot of flaws in that logic, but she also knew it was pointless to argue with all her superiors when the ball was tomorrow night. It is, after all, going to be just one night.

She had been through a lot worse, anyways.

She had fought countless titans and even _killed_ people. She can do this.

The raven met Levi’s eyes back with hesitation.

“Understood.”

Levi nodded once and started walking to his room again. This time Mikasa didn’t follow him. “At least you’re going with your dear Eren. Would you rather have been paired up with Connie? Of course not.” He continued, “Eren’s just a boy, not a titan, for goodness’ sake. He’s not gonna bite you...” She heard his mumbling as he walked away. “Not yet at least.” She could nearly imagine his eyebrow raise from where she stood.

Mikasa, however, didn’t understand what he meant by that.

···

At breakfast the next morning, Mikasa found Armin staring at the wall. He seemed to be troubled by something as he spaced out not noticing her approaching him.

“Armin,” She said as she sat beside him at the table. “Are you okay?”

The blonde snapped out of his trance and realized she was next to him.

“Oh… hi, Mikasa. Yeah, I’m alright.” He stuttered; it didn’t sound really convincing. “Just thinking about how I have to act tonight.” A crease appeared between his eyebrows as he said, “I got paired up with Jean.”

The raven frowned.

“Is there a problem with that? Is Jean not a good partner for this mission?” She asked, not seeing the issue. Jean was a pretty reliable guy, from Mikasa’s point of view, and she was sure Armin thought the same.

“Yeah! No, not at all! It’s just… a weird situation,” The blonde was practically sweating on his seat. “It’s uh…” He let out a nervous laugh. “We have to act as a couple, and I don’t really know how to do that. I’m scared my incompetence with romantic relationships is going to get us all killed.”

Mikasa’s eyes widened. She understood why she and Eren had to go along with that, but… Armin and Jean? What was the purpose of that? At that point it seemed as if their superiors were just doing that to laugh at their expense.

She gently placed her hand on top of the blonde’s.

“Armin, it’s okay. We’re not going to die because of this stupid thing.” She said, giving him a reassuring smile. “You’re smart, and perfectly capable of figuring this out. You should talk to Jean to see what he has in mind.” Mikasa said, like a hypocrite, knowing very well that she wouldn’t follow on her own advice with Eren.

Armin nodded twice in response, still a little bit tense, but feeling better thanks to Mikasa’s natural calm aura.

She should probably talk to Eren as well, but she didn’t want to. He would probably not want to talk about it either. They will just have to improvise as the night goes on. Although knowing Eren, it would surprise Mikasa if he knew how to improvise fake romance. Either ways, that was a problem to be dealt with later.

Around ten minutes had passed when a sleepy Eren joined them at the table. His hair was tousled everywhere, yawning as he wished them a good morning and started eating his food.

 _Fuck._ Mikasa was already getting nervous seeing him mind his own business and not direct any words at her, how the hell was she going to handle spending the entire night being close to him?

And on that note, what was even wrong with her? She had been avoiding him and trying not to be in the same room as him ever since she found out about her role tonight. She had never acted that way around Eren before, as if she barely knows him, and is scared to even talk to him.

They continued eating their food in silence. It was unusually quiet for them.

“Eren,” Armin said trying to break the tension. “Did you sleep well?”

The brunette lifted his head up and looked at Armin, then at Mikasa and then directed his gaze back at his food.

“Not much.” He simply replied.

Mikasa hadn’t even looked at him for the entire time he had been sitting on the table. From Armin’s perspective, it was suspicious.

“O-okay…” The blonde said, raising his right eyebrow. “I’m finished with my breakfast; I’ll see you guys later”. With that said, he picked up his plate and got up, leaving Eren and Mikasa alone.

They both felt the tension in the air.

Mikasa was barely moving, trying as hard as she could to not look at him. Eren seemed to be doing the same. Until…

“Can you pass me a napkin?” He said suddenly. It startled Mikasa a little.

“Yeah” She handed him the napkin, trying her best for their hands to not touch. He did the same as well.

And it all suddenly clicked. Mikasa noticed that Eren, too, was acting strange.

Normally he wouldn’t have cared about a casual accidental brush of fingers or would he be avoiding her gaze. So, what was it? What was it that was making Eren act like a completely different person?

When the raven thought about it, the first thing that came to her mind was the gala. He was probably uncomfortable with their assigned roles in the mission. He probably already thought that she was clingy enough, that she was annoying, and he hated that he had to spend the entire night acting all lovey-dovey with her. It was probably best if she just left him alone until tonight.

She picked up her plate and left.

···

The dress that was displayed in front of her was beautiful, dark satin red that reached the floor, showed one leg, and had a beautiful pronounced V neck cleavage with no sleeves. Mikasa, however, wasn’t sure she was comfortable with how much skin it showed.

When Kiyomi provided her attire for the evening, Mikasa had been expecting a traditional Hizuru dressing gown, just like the one Kiyomi herself often wore. However, what was inside the box containing her correspondent outfit had surprised her.

She would have to wear it anyways, mostly because she had no other choice. Sasha’s dress was smaller, and it wouldn’t fit her muscular body, meaning no possibility of trading them.

The Hizuru mark engraved on her skin would be displayed for everyone to see, as requested by Kiyomi. She would only wear a long shawl as an addition, in case she got cold, leaving her scarf at the mansion.

Mikasa had never worn anything like that in her life. It was scary to think that she was going to be the centre of attention for a lot of people tonight, people who would see her wearing that dress.

She put it, and her “engagement” ring on, after she had been bothered by multiple people attending to her, whose task was making her look pretty with make-up and hair styling. She could only hope that she wouldn’t trip on her heels tonight.

As they all gathered before getting in the car that would be taking them to the hall where the ball would be held, Mikasa noticed how well-kept everyone looked. The boys were in different kinds of suits and tuxedos, that somehow suited them perfectly, while she and Sasha wore long, flowy beautiful dresses.

She halted in front of Eren and Armin, who were talking about something that she seemed to have interrupted, as they both abruptly stopped talking when she reached them.

“Mikasa!” Armin exclaimed, looking at her with a soft smile. “You look beautiful.”

She looked down at him, now even more than usual, as she was slightly taller with her heels on, thanking him politely with a smile and a blush adorning her face.

Eren was gazing at her, too. He adverted his eyes whenever she looked back at him, but at least he acknowledged her presence. Armin elbowed him and the brunette rubbed his arm where the smaller boy hit him, looking a bit upset. She tried to not give it much thought.

There was a full moon outside that made everything seem as if it was slightly glowing, making the evening feel even more magical. Seated in her car, Mikasa looked at the buildings as they went past them, keeping her thoughts occupied. The moon, however, didn’t budge an inch and she wondered as to why that is.

As they got closer to their destination, the girl started getting even more anxious. She needed to calm down. It was barely a recon mission, and they were supposed to be there to have a little bit of fun as well. Or so did Hange say. Mikasa didn’t know if she could truly have fun when so much was on her mind.

The car stopped and everybody started getting out of the car, making sure that their attires looked decent and unwrinkled by their trip.

It was time.

“Okay, brats. You know the drill.” Levi told them all. “Let the shitshow begin.” He said after he sighed, and then linked arms with Hange.

Armin and Jean, Sasha and Connie did the same thing. Mikasa felt unsure of what to be done, but Eren came closer and offered her his arm to hold. She hesitated a bit at first, but ultimately ended up taking it.

As they entered the salon, bright lights blinded Mikasa for a bit before she eventually got used to the brightness and was able to take in her surroundings.

The place was big. So big, it was overwhelming. There were tables with all kinds of food on them to eat, a stage set for all the speeches prepared, and a dance floor right in the middle of the room. The windows were some of the biggest she had ever seen, if not the biggest of them all, which were adorned with huge satin curtains that fell beautifully to the floor. The salon was already packed with elegant people talking animatedly to each other and waiters with eldian armbands were walking around, serving the guests their requests.

Eren and Mikasa started pacing together towards the food tables, as they hadn’t had anything to eat for hours, and attacked the desert section. The atmosphere between them was still tense, but somehow, she felt slightly better and safer after he had offered her his arm. She was determined to at least have some genuine fun tonight, even if it wasn’t for long. Letting loose a little bit would do her good.

The brunette let go of her arm for a moment and took a pair of champagne flutes for them. It was for barely a minute, but Mikasa could finally take a good look at Eren’s suit. It was mostly black, and it looked expensive with a good quality. It had a tie and a vest, which made it look a bit fancier. Eren’s demeanour made it look even better on him, she noticed, as he looked even more handsome than usual.

It made her feel embarrassed, but she couldn’t lie to herself anymore. She thought Eren was handsome. He had grown up to become the fine young man he is now, and Mikasa was proud of him for everything he had achieved. She just hoped she could stay by his side for as long as possible, so she could watch him grow even more. Speaking of which, she recently noticed how much taller than her he had grown. He was more physically imposing now, but not in a bad meaning. It was… looking good on him.

“Mikasa?” Eren was suddenly in front of her handing her the champagne flute.

 _Oh._ She realised that she had been staring.

“Sorry. Thank you.”

She grabbed the flute and took a small sip. It was different from the alcohol she had had before, but it wasn’t bad. It would probably take just a few more sips to get used to.

“It’s good... It’s different from what we had back at the tents, but it has an interesting flavor,” the girl observed.

He looked at her and then shrugged. “Meh. I’m not a huge fan of champagne.” He said as he took a sip, making an unsatisfied face at the taste.

Mikasa smiled a little at his funny expression. “Your father’s memories?”

“Kruger’s.” He corrected looking around at the place, as if he was feeling a certain nostalgia. “I know almost everything about this place and yet I’ve barely seen anything myself.”

What he said took her back two months ago, when he was gloomier than usual. When she caught him crying as he was observing the refugees’ tents. It broke her heart into hundreds of pieces. She wished she could end his pain and take the burden off his shoulders forever.

_What am I to you?_

That sentence interrupted her thoughts. It still confused her just as much as it did that same day she heard it.

“You can make your own memories here. And try to make them as happy as possible with what time we have left.” Mikasa replied after a while.

He directed his gaze at her once again. This time, she could see something shift in his eyes. His focus lingered on her for a moment, before a glass cup fell and broke near them, breaking the moment and forcing them to look back at the crowd again, looking for Ralph Flueber. Mikasa realized she had to stop staring at Eren’s eyelashes and do the same.

She took another sip. A bigger one, this time.

“We should probably start talking to people.” The brunette stated, clearing his throat, and looking for someone unthreatening enough to give some chit chat to.

Mikasa nodded as she took his arm again. They were getting ready to start looking around, but they didn’t have to move much. An elderly couple recognized the mark engraved on Mikasa’s skin, and stopped her to ask some very much unwanted questions.

“Hello, young lady! Well, don’t you look beautiful tonight?” The woman said, with a high-pitched voice, as if she had known Mikasa for years. “Elias, come talk to this lovely couple!” The woman yelled at her husband to get his attention.

Mikasa and Eren were just standing there, resisting the urge to run away.

“What are your names, my dears?” The lady asked as her voice became quieter.

“I’m Erhard Hermann,” Eren answered first. “and this is my fiancée, Kotomi Keiko.”

Their fake given names, invented by Kiyomi and Hange.

“Kotomi Hermann, soon enough!” Elias said smiling lively at them.

They delivered their best fake laughs.

The next five minutes were spent talking to the obnoxious couple, showing off their “engagement” rings, and laughing at the man’s bad jokes.

“Rumour has it you’re the next in line for the Hizuru royal bloodline!” The old lady, whose name was Mila as they learned, asked. “With the way things have been running lately, it seems like it’s going to be pretty soon! Are you planning on anything yet?”

Mikasa was about to panic when Eren tugged at her arm, excusing them both and politely saying his goodbyes to the old couple. He guided her through the crowd, apparently with a target on his mind.

“Eren? What are you doing?”

He stopped abruptly and whispered, “Ralph is right there. We have to get close to him.” He leaned towards her so she could hear him better before saying, “and those people were asking too many complicated questions and I got tired.”

Mikasa almost grinned at that. He might not even know it, but he probably just saved them both from a catastrophe.

Eren took her hand and quickly guided them to where Ralph Flueber was standing, quietly sipping at some red wine.

“Mr Flueber?” the younger man smiled cordially at him. “Could we steal a minute of your time?”

“Of course, I’m not busy at the moment.” He said putting his wine glass on the nearest table and replied with a low, present voice. “To whom do I have the pleasure?”

“I’m Erhard Hermann, and this is my fiancée, Kotomi Keiko.” Eren replied.

Mikasa bowed her head slightly before saying in her most innocent voice, “We’re big admirers of your charity work, Mr Flueber.”

“I see,” The man replied. “I’m glad to hear word of my work has been spreading in Hizuru.” The man carefully examined them both. A few seconds of silence passed before he continued, “If you’ll excuse me.”

And just like that, the conversation was over as soon as it started. He picked up his glass of wine and left. Eren and Mikasa had no say in the matter as they just stood there staring at his back as he moved further away from them through the crowd, not really believing their eyes.

“So much for not being busy,” the girl mumbled.

As the time passed, the music got louder, people got more drunk, fake laughs were emitted and drinks were spilled. Some long, boring speeches were given. Occasionally, Mikasa would catch a glimpse of Sasha and Connie trying too hard to be civilized people, to the point of being ridiculous, or Armin and Jean cordially listening to the talkative guests. Levi and Hange were nowhere to be seen, surely not being very successful in the mission of being social, as both of them were absolute social misfits.

Eren channelled his best acting skills and kept talking to these wealthy people, never staying too far from Mikasa, who was sitting in a chair placed right next to the dance floor. She got tired of speaking to people who would hate them if they really knew who they were, tired of playing the role of “the future of Hizuru”.

She really did not want that. If it was up to her, she would never see Kiyomi’s face, or any of these people’s faces, ever again. Hizuru was not her home, no matter how much the people here insisted. Her place was in Paradis, next to Eren, Armin, and the rest of her comrades.

Although she knew both of her childhood friends would die in a few years, she still didn’t want to think about being far from the place she knew so well. She wanted to live in the present and not think about Kiyomi’s agenda ever again.

Mikasa knew that was impossible. She would probably never escape her ancestry, whether it was her Ackerman ancestry, or her Hizuru one. And it hurt. It hurt like hell.

“Hey,” Eren said, appearing in front of her again. “Um… do you wanna, uh… go dance?” He stuttered. He wasn’t looking at her, but he shyly held out his hand for her to take.

She looked up at him, eyes wide, a bit astounded that he had offered to dance with her. It was actually the best distraction she could think of. So, she nodded quickly, and took his hand softly and with grace.

Mikasa was tipsy. She knew that, even after only two glasses of champagne. Unlike Eren, she couldn’t hold her alcohol really well. It wasn’t an unpleasant feeling, though. It kind of made her feel lighter on her feet, and the things that usually kept her awake at night a little bit easier to forget.

They walked toward the dance floor; holding hands in that stance that precedes dancing. They were taught how to dance in pairs correctly before coming here, so they followed onto what they had learned. Her right hand on his shoulder, his left hand holding her waist. They held each other’s remaining free hand hesitantly with their heads close to each other. They slowly swayed to the music.

The atmosphere was suddenly much quieter than before. Mikasa could feel herself calming down, despite the loud beating of her heart. His touch to her waist was soft but hesitant, as if he was afraid he would hurt her, despite him knowing he couldn’t even if he tried to.

Their temples were touching now as they both gave in to the slow music and the calmness in the air surrounding them. Mikasa was glad Eren couldn’t see her blush from the angle they were in at the moment.

“Mikasa,” Eren started. Although his voice was as soft as it could be, the raven was a bit startled. He thought long about what he was about to say next. “Are you going to Hizuru?”

She moved her head away from his to be able to look at him better, separating them in the process. She didn’t know what answer to give.

“I don’t know. Probably, in the future.”

His eyes moved directing his gaze downwards.

“So that’s a yes,” he whispered.

Her head was slightly spinning. The alcohol made it difficult to be able to reason with herself.

“I don’t want to.” She retorted, her gaze forcing him to look her in the eye. “I don’t want to. But I don’t want to think about it either.”

He looked away again, but she held her gaze which was still directed at him. She suddenly felt brave. Probably because of the courage the liquor had given her.

“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me today?” she blurted out of nowhere as her eyebrows formed a crease.

“Me?” His eyes widened. Then he frowned. “You ignored me for the entirety of today, you can’t just put the blame on me!”

“Eren.” She said and he looked at her again. A pause took place, as they held each other’s gaze, before repeating her question again. “Is it?”

He swallowed. “I... no, but… I still wanted to know.”

This man was going to drive her insane.

She sighed and went quiet. The lights got dimmer as the evening went by, making the atmosphere much calmer. They kept swaying to the music, both of them now looking towards opposite sides.

“Did you avoid me because you didn’t want to come to this mission with me?” Eren blurted after a long silence had passed between them.

The question was surprising. Her lips parted as she tried to say something, before closing her mouth again. If she was assuming correctly, Eren had thought long and deep about the implications of that question. She blushed lightly again.

“N-no, I thought… you didn’t want to come here with me.” She replied, adverting her gaze when he looked at her. “This time I didn’t want to bother you like I always do; in case you were uncomfortable.”

Eren’s mouth was agape. That was the most honest she had ever been with herself, and with him, in a long time. It surprised her.

“What? Mikasa, I thought we were past this.” He exclaimed slightly irritated now, but he also looked relieved. “I don’t mind you protecting me, or… spending time with me. We’re family, after all. Armin is, too.”

_Family._

The raven felt a pang of pain in her chest, not really knowing where it came from. That was the word she had used the most to describe her relationship with Eren throughout her life. But now, it didn’t feel quite right. Yes, family was a safe word, but… not the correct one. She wouldn’t say they were _friends_ , either. Everything regarding Eren was always just so… complicated.

The raven wrapped her arms around his neck in a hug and closed her eyes. He closed his, too.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered.

A ghost of a pair of hands was caressing her exposed back slowly up and down, now, giving her goosebumps. Their bodies were now closer than they were before.

“Don’t be sorry.” He whispered back. “It’s okay.”

And now Mikasa felt a small smile threatening to show itself on her lips. A smile Eren couldn’t see, but one that she couldn’t hold in either. Because this is exactly how she wanted to feel for the rest of her life. At peace, holding Eren closely.

This feeling of contentment, the feeling of being completely comfortable with someone. It was all she had ever wanted.

But after a while of being that much close, he called her name in an alarmed tone.

Mikasa didn’t want to answer him and end this moment. She wanted to stay like this forever and freeze time at this instant. But she opened her eyes and listened.

“I see Flueber. He’s going somewhere.” He said as he started letting go of her. “C’mon, let’s follow him.”

As much as it pained her, Mikasa snapped out of her trance as well. She held her dress up as they raced through the crowd to catch up with the bigger man.

Flueber left the ball room and entered a corridor almost as long and wide as the earlier mentioned one, only to enter one of the main rooms of the palace. As Eren and Mikasa followed stealthily, they got close to the room’s closed door, with Eren right in front, back turned to her, trying to hear what was being said.

Only one voice could be heard. A telephone conversation.

“I can’t stand it a minute longer. These people are all morons.” They heard Flueber say before pausing to hear what was being said on the other end of the line.

…

“No, I don’t think I’m going to make it home soon, dear. I wish I could, but I have sponsors to charm... Money doesn’t grow on trees, you know that.”

Charm? He certainly didn’t feel charming to them. Then again, Eren and Mikasa’s fake identities weren’t supposed to be richer than him, so it wouldn’t make sense for him to try to “charm” them into giving him money.

This society felt wild to Mikasa.

…

“Yeah, absolutely. I almost wish we had kept all that charity money for ourselves, so I don’t have to go through this torture every weekend.” He replied after another pause.

Well, that settled it. Both Eren and Mikasa felt all the hope they had deflate inside of them. Disappointment was the only thing left. This man was not going to help them in any way.

“Thanks for talking to me, dear. I needed it. Tell the kids I miss them, too.”

…

Oh, no.

“Yeah, I’ll see you on Monday, honey. Good night.”

_Oh no._

Eren turned around, eyes wide.

There was _no way_ they were gonna make it back through this enormous hall to hide from Flueber in time.

They heard the sound of the phone hanging up. Then, the footsteps coming towards the door.

Mikasa and Eren were both panicking. They were gonna get caught by this influential man. They were listening to a compromising telephone conversation, one that could ruin everything, make them fail the mission, or could even get them _killed_.

In a heartbeat, the brunette grabbed Mikasa’s shoulders and got them further away from the door. The next thing she knew, Eren’s lips crashed against hers.

His hands travelled to both her face and neck, making it insanely intimate. A chill ran down her spine all the way to her feet, making her toes curl and her back arch.

At first, she was frozen in place, processing what was happening. Her heart was furiously racing.

_What? What the hell is he- doing…?_

Eventually, she realized what he was doing. An _act._ An excuse to them being in that hallway stealthily. It was actually very clever, given that the man already knew that they were supposed to be engaged.

Mikasa had never understood why couples had the need to kiss each other on the lips, or why every hormoned teenager around her talked so much about it.

_Now she did._

She tried to go along with it as best as she could, while also trying not to die out of embarrassment. She felt clumsy, she didn’t even know what to do with her lips or hands. She just placed them on Eren’s chest, feeling his racing heartbeat through her fingertips, and let go.

Eventually, they heard someone clearing their throat. They groggily separated with a smack sound and looked back at the man glaring at them. Before he interrupted, Mikasa had lost awareness of her surroundings and her only focus was Eren and their intimate kiss.

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” Eren blurted out with a nervous laugh. “We were looking for the bathroom.” He said as he scratched the back of his head. “We got a little… distracted.”

Flueber kept his glare tight, tapping his foot on the carpet, but it didn’t look too threatening.

“You got the wrong hallway, lovebirds.” He said uncrossing his arms and rolling his eyes. “Go back and turn right, you will see it then. Now go, before I call the guards because two youngsters were engaged in public indecent activities.”

“Yes, sir, we understand. We’re really sorry,” Eren said hurriedly, bowing slightly. Mikasa nodded and bowed, too.

And so, they turned back and headed for the actual restroom.

Mikasa wasn’t sure of what has just happened, but she was pretty sure if any more blood rushed to her face, she would probably faint.

···

Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, Mikasa had splashed her face with water so many times, her fingers got wrinkly. She had been in there for a good five minutes, while Eren was waiting for her outside.

After leaving the enormous hall that they were in, they headed straight for the bathroom, without saying a single word to each other. _Fuck_ , how was she going to be able to look at Eren in the eye ever again? Mikasa had been so flustered that she had to take a deep breath in the bathroom to steady herself. She was not ready for what had happened. It just… took her by surprise. Which is a major thing, considering that she is an Ackerman with steel nerves, no less.

She touched her lips softly while taking a look at herself in the mirror. She didn’t look much different after her first kiss, just pretty dishevelled. Not that she should look any different, anyways. If she was slightly drunk, that kiss had completely sobered her up. The adrenaline rushing through her veins when it happened made sure of that.

The raven closed her eyes forcing herself to focus on the present for a few seconds. When she felt ready, or at least as ready as she could be, her feet moved hesitantly towards the bathroom door.

Mikasa’s eyes were focused straight ahead and didn’t even stop to look at Eren. She kept walking towards the ballroom with no halt. Eren followed her, slightly confused.

“Mikasa,” the brunette said as he walked behind her. “I’m sorry about that, I- I had to do something” he looked troubled. “I hope I didn’t overstep.”

She kept looking straight ahead and moving forward. It took her a long time before she answered. “It’s okay, Eren. I understand why you did it.” And there she was, blushing again.

He sighed, visibly relieved, but also still bothered by something.

“Just… give me a heads up the next time something like that happens.” The words left her mouth before she realized what they implied a few seconds later, which made her stop dead in her tracks. Eren almost bumped into her.

“I- I mean, if a situation like this ever comes again.” She continued, she didn’t even know why she felt slightly irritated, and the sentence came out a bit harsher than she had intended it to.

Eren placed himself on her right so she could see him, brows furrowed, and then nodded. He was a bit red himself.

A blond head was moving towards them. Mikasa noticed, and almost let out a sigh of relief when she saw Armin looking at them, because she didn’t know if she could handle being alone with Eren at the moment.

“Guys!” Armin looked agitated, as he was panting. “Have you seen Jean? He went to the bathroom about fifteen minutes ago and he still isn’t back.” He looked really worried.

Mikasa and Eren both shook their heads. As if on cue, Jean’s voice came from behind them.

“I’m here.” He said stopping right beside Armin. “Eating all that food certainly wasn’t a good idea.”

Armin was visibly relieved that Jean was okay. He took a deep breath and directed his words to Eren and Mikasa.

“Do you have any intel on Flueber?” he asked with his brows furrowed.

“A dead end. Like expected.” Mikasa replied still felling annoyed, and it showed.

Eren nodded before clarifying, “We heard him on the phone. Apparently, his charities are only a façade and he doesn’t actually feel any sympathy for people in need.”

Armin and Jean both visibly deflated. The blonde then nodded slowly.

“I’ll go inform Hange that we can get back to the mansion now.” He said as he turned around and left.

The three left took a bit longer to follow. They only moved after Mikasa did.

“Had fun?” Eren asked Jean as they slowly made their way back.

The taller man only raised an eyebrow in return and gave Eren a side glance. “Not as much as you two, I’m sure.”

Mikasa almost choked on her own saliva.

Silence followed.

“What?” Eren retorted. “What’s that supposed to mean, Jean?” His tone was accusing.

The taller man gave him a knowing glare. “Look, maybe I’m not the best person to judge, but…” He hesitated slightly before continuing but did anyways. “That was the lamest kiss I’ve ever witnessed.”

Now Mikasa was actually choking on her own saliva.

Eren stopped dead in his tracks and got all red as the blood rushed to his face with embarrassment. Sounds came out of him as he opened and closed his mouth multiple times, but not any words. Jean was laughing.

“Y- you saw that!?” the brunette managed to say at the end taking a bit more control now, but it was still a bit messy. “W-we had to improvise! We could have blown out our cover if I didn’t do that.”

Mikasa was still coughing.

“Oh c’mon, Eren. I could have come up with at least a hundred better stories and excuses for that situation. I guess you’re just not quick enough.” The taller man said, smugly. His eyebrows were still dancing on his forehead.

“Shut up, Jean.” The brunette said furiously ending the conversation with that.

···

Back at Kiyomi’s mansion, Mikasa was massaging her feet in the privacy of her room. Those high heels had been a bother throughout the entire night, and she was glad that she finally had them off now. She put on her comfortable slippers and squirmed in pleasure when her feet touched the soft, cool surface.

As she took her dress off, she flexed the muscles at her shoulders, neck and back to get rid of some of the stiffness. The dress was beautiful, but still so exhausting to wear, as it was long and heavy. She put on a comfortable shirt and pants before heading towards the main room to officially report the mission to her superiors.

They were all now there, seated on the couches, giving as much details as they could about what they had seen back in the ballroom. Hange was taking notes, thinking about the testimonies given and speculating about what those interactions could mean with Onyankopon, who was not able to go to the ball due to the fact that he was well known among some of the influential people present at the celebration.

Mikasa was extremely tired. It had been such an emotionally jarring day, for multiple reasons. Now she knew why she had been grumpy at the ball. She had had a taste of what a happy life could be today, but also, she had felt it slip away within seconds. She knew that kiss was only a mere act to Eren, but it still hurt. She would almost have it rather never happening at all, because now she was longing for something that she never thought she needed before. Now that Mikasa has had a taste, she didn’t want to let it go, even if she knew she had to.

When they all went back to their respective rooms, she took a long, relaxing shower to try to forget about everything that had occurred that day. Rubbing her body with soap to get the feeling of frustration off her soul.

Back in her room, the raven put on her summer nightgown and pushed her wet hair back. The only light illuminating the room was the moonlight, so it was dim. Scarf now carefully placed on her nightstand, she was laying on her bed, staring at the ceiling. It wasn’t that much late yet, but she was tired. Too many thoughts were rambling in her head, and they were making her sleepy.

Her eyelids closed. She could feel her own heartbeat through her left hand, placed at her chest. It was calm. So calm, that she was about to fall asleep before three knocks on her door snapped her out of it. Mikasa’s eyes fluttered open slowly, then she exhaled air abruptly out of her nostrils, slightly annoyed at the interruption.

Her mouth hung open when she attended to the door and saw that it was Eren waiting at her doorstep.

“Did I wake you up?” He asked. She inspected him, he was now in his pyjamas, too, looking tired as well but also still somehow radiant.

She sighed rubbing her right eye to wake herself up a little bit more. It terrified her how much she loved this boy and how far she would go for him.

“Kind of. But it’s okay,” she replied as she opened the door a little bit wider. Her eyebrows creased before she asked, “Is something wrong?”

He shook his head and said, “I just uh… wanted to talk about something for a little while, can I come in?”

Mikasa nodded and opened the door wide open for him to enter the room. When he did, she closed it quietly.

He pushed his hands in his pockets. “I just talked to Hange.” He said and then he took a deep breath before continuing. “They’re planning a long-term undercover operation in Marley, with dealing a big blow to their military as the goal. That is if we don’t find any other way towards a peaceful agreement with their government that could avoid war.”

The raven’s eyebrows formed a crease as her eyes widened.

“I will be at the front of the operation. Acting as a bait, basically” He scratched his head and looked down. “We still have to think through all of the details.”

Mikasa’s breath fell short. Another blow of reality hit her right in the heart, as she contemplated the danger Eren could potentially be in. She directed her gaze towards the floor.

“How long until that happens?” she asked as her jaw clenched.

“Hange said five months at the most.” He said as he ran a hand through his hair. “Less, if Marley attacks first, but it’s unlikely for now, as far as we know.”

Mikasa took a deep breath. After that, came a nod.

“Thank you for telling me.” She said with her gaze still directed at the floor.

Eren nodded too, and took that as his cue to leave.

His feet moved across the large room, striding towards the door. He was about to grab the door handle, when he came to a stop. He stood there for a moment.

“Mikasa” he called out, before turning around.

She lifted her head back up and looked at him.

“There has been something going through my head for the entire night.” He said as he walked back to where he had been, getting closer to her again, but he seemed to have noticed something in her, as he didn’t finish what he was about to say.

He was staring, now, as he got closer. It made Mikasa feel nervous… Her face felt even more exposed than usual under his gaze, as her wet hair was pushed back with nothing framing or hiding her facial expressions. She wondered what was going through his mind.

…

Was there something on her face?

“Eren…?” she asked confused.

Suddenly, his hand was on her right cheek, his thumb softly caressing the scar under her eye. She felt frozen in her place.

Her mouth went dry. She didn’t know what to say.

“I’m sorry. I never apologized for doing this to you.” He said, in a low voice, almost a whisper, out of nowhere. His face looked pained.

It had been almost four years since that incident happened. When Eren lost control over his titan and was close to accidentally killing her. Mikasa had almost forgotten about that, as it didn’t seem important to her. She had also grown used to seeing that scar on her face in the mirror every day, not really minding the look of it, almost forgetting its existence.

She lightly grabbed the arm attached to the hand he was holding her face with before saying, “It’s okay. You don’t have to apologize, because it wasn’t your fault. You lost control.”

“Yes, it was. I could have killed you! If you weren’t so skilled with the 3DM gear, we probably wouldn’t be standing here having this conversation!” he said as his hand let go of her face.

“Eren.” She shook her head, and almost laughed bitterly, not believing his words. “If you hadn’t saved me back then when we were kids, I wouldn’t be here at all” She was looking at him dead in the eye now. “Don’t ever think about what could have happened in the past when we’re both here, alive.”

His lips parted a little bit, slightly stunned. Even Mikasa was surprised that she had said that too, given that thinking about the past was almost all she ever did. Like the fact that she almost constantly thought about what she would have answered him two months ago in that camp below the starry sky.

She took his hand in with her both hands.

“As long as we’re here, together, we can protect each other,” she said with her gaze moving back and forth from one pupil of his to another, “that’s all that matters to me.”

His expression held such an intense look that Mikasa wasn’t sure if she wouldn’t start crying right there and then. A frown was formed on his lips as he seemed to be on the brink of tears too.

Then, the brunette broke the eye contact between them looking down. He let his hand, still held by Mikasa’s hands, fall down, without letting go of Mikasa’s grip.

He looked pensive, as if he was carefully considering his next words. He held those words back for a few moments, however when he did let them out, they knocked all the air out of Mikasa’s lungs.

“Mikasa,” he swallowed, before restoring the eye contact. Brows furrowed, he asked. “What are we?”

And there it was again, the very same question he asked her two months ago. The very same one that had occupied her mind and thoughts ever since. _That is, a very good question_ , Mikasa thought. Its answer was also something that she couldn’t put into words or phrase, either.

“Huh?”, was all she could manage to say.

What _were_ they? They weren’t siblings or family, no. Friends wasn’t a word that felt right, either. They _certainly_ weren’t lovers. There was no right answer to that question. She truly felt blank as if no answer could ever be given.

“You couldn’t answer me back then. So, I’m asking again now.” He said as he held onto her hands tightly. “ _What am I to you?_ ”

He was pleading now. Eren was desperate for an answer, again. It was the first time since then that he acknowledged that moment with her. Sadly, she felt just as lost now as she did back then.

No. No, that wasn’t true. She knew what she wanted to say, but she didn’t feel brave enough to say it. If she voiced it to him… she would be risking everything about her relationship with Eren. All the effort they had made to understand each other, the comfort they usually felt when they were together, the trust and respect they held towards each other… it could all be jeopardized by just a few words.

She was almost certain that Eren didn’t feel anything romantic of the sort in return. So, she decided she will keep quiet. She wouldn’t risk it.

After a while of intense staring and nothing else but silence between them, Eren seemed to have given up. He let go of her hands and took a step back.

“Nothing, then.” He said with disappointment displayed on his face.

Then, he just turned around and left the room.

The pang of pain Mikasa felt in her chest, at seeing him leave the room in that disappointed and desperate manner, was almost too much to bear. Tears started rolling down her face.

_Fuck._

What did she do? What the hell did she just do?

This was even worse than the outcomes she had imagined from any answer she had given him in all the scenarios she had created in her head throughout the last two months. Eren had left the room thinking she didn’t hold any sort of meaningful feelings towards him. She had fucked it up. Now he would probably never even speak to her again. Never smile at her, or caress her back and cheek like he had earlier in that day.

 _This,_ she realized, _is worse than anything I could have ever expected._

Her feet moved on their own.

She wouldn’t allow that to happen. She would keep Eren beside her at any cost, she decided that a long time ago.

The door to her room was left open as she started running to catch up after him.

She could see his silhouette moving down the wide hall towards his room. She sped up her pace.

“Eren!” The girl called out.

She kept on running even as he turned around when he heard his name being called.

Mikasa could see his broken heart all the way from where she stood, unveiled on his expression. It broke her own heart right back and she reached a decision of what she was about to do, right there and then.

She came to a stop within a respectable distance away from him. Mikasa swallowed, then licked her lips, scared as she had never been before. Some wet hairlocks were now stuck on her face. Her lips parted to speak.

“You’re not nothing.” She said while breathing heavily; she didn’t really know why. “You’re the one who puts a genuine smile on my face almost every day. You’re the one who gives me hope whenever I feel hopeless because this world is cruel, but you remind me every day that it is also a beautiful place.” The tears kept on streaming down her cheeks. “You’re the one who makes this life, that is full of pain, loss and suffering, worth living. You taught me how to live with a purpose, and I could never repay you for that.”

She slowly took a few steps forward.

“You’re everything I want my life to have, Eren.” She sniffled and fidgeted with her fingers as she continued. “And I’m so scared that my words are gonna push you away somehow. I- I don’t want that. I just… I wanna be with you. For as long as our short lives will allow.”

Her eyes permanently locked onto his, he was shedding tears, too.

That was it. Mikasa had poured her heart out for Eren. She had never felt so free in her whole life. The only thing left was the fear, the anxiety deep inside her, telling her that she had made it even worse by doing so.

Eren looked so stunned. Like he was at loss for words, and those seconds in which he didn’t react in any way, felt like hours to Mikasa.

_Please, don’t break my heart._

_Please, don’t leave me._

_Please, just say something._

Her thoughts made her feel as if she was drowning. She dropped her hands from where they had been at her belly, fidgeting, starting to lose all hope for an answer, and hung her head low, staring at the wooden floor.

But a pair of hands were placed on the sides of her head, and his lips were now on hers.

For the second time that night, Mikasa was completely frozen in her place, clueless. She didn’t even close her eyes, as it didn’t last long enough for her to process. She couldn’t believe that had happened in the first place.

He looked right into her eyes, their noses touching, his eyes pleading for some sort of a response from her. Mikasa looked at him right back and then at his lips. She closed her eyes, and then, shortened the distance between them.

The kiss was longer this time. She exhaled sharply as his hands travelled from her reddened cheeks to her arms, and from there down to her up and then lower back, caressing it. She placed hers on his chest, holding tightly onto the fabric of his shirt as the kiss slowly deepened. Her toes were curling and her knees were going weak. The raven didn’t trust herself to keep up the intimacy for much longer without falling to the ground.

When their lips parted, their foreheads touched as he brought his face closer to hers, Mikasa kept her eyes closed, breathing deeply. Only Eren’s arms wrapping around her neck woke her up and brought her back from the clouds. She wrapped her arms around his torso in a hug. She could feel his agitated, but steady heartbeat flowing through her body. They stayed that way for a while.

Had this day been real? Was this really happening? Mikasa had never even imagined anything like this would ever happen. It was almost too much for her to handle and his scent was making her feel dizzy.

“We probably shouldn’t be doing this in the hallway.” He said, after a long silence.

The girl smiled at that, still emotional after that intimate kiss, and nodded. They slowly broke apart and held each other’s hands.

The awkward part arrived now. They were both supposed to go to bed, as they would be waking up early in the morning to head back to Paradis. They had to go to their own rooms and part for the night. However, neither of them wanted to, at all.

“I should go,” Mikasa whispered.

“Please, don’t go,” Eren said almost immediately. He looked her dead in the eye. “Don’t go.” His voice was barely a whisper.

The raven’s eyes widened once again, and she swallowed. She wasn’t used to breaking the rules like this. She was a good soldier, usually she would follow a tight schedule including a good eight hours of sleep and several hours of training. But mostly, it was Eren’s persistence that moved her. He had never been so vocal about wanting to be around her.

She was torn. It felt wrong to stay, but she wanted it so bad like she had never before.

Mikasa opened her mouth as she was about to speak, but she didn’t have the chance to.

“Stay in my room tonight” He said, interrupting.

Her eyes widened even more now. Cheeks reddened as she blushed deeply. Was he suggesting…? No, wait. It was too soon _. Way too soon_. She did not feel ready for that, _yet_. For hell’s sake, they literally had just kissed for real for the first time after knowing each other for almost ten years… Once again, she opened her mouth to speak again but only a few confused sounds came out.

Eren’s eyes widened as well, his dense mind only realizing then the implication of what he had just suggested.

“I- I mean like, only sleeping.” He assured her. “ _Just_ sleeping. In my bed.” He was now blushing, too.

Mikasa looked down at their linked hands, as did he. Technically, they wouldn’t be breaking any rules and it sounded like an amazing plan. Afterall, they both did not want to part that night. She considered his proposal for a few seconds, before ultimately making up her mind.

“Okay.” She said, failing to suppress a smile. He smiled, too.

Mikasa’s bedroom door stayed open for the rest of that night.

···

Eren woke up the next morning with Mikasa’s head resting against the crook of his neck. It made his heartbeat race, having her this close. She was still sound asleep, as he could tell through feeling the steady rhythm of her chest raising up and down, along with some light snoring. He was worried the sound of his own heartbeat might wake her up.

The night before had been extremely tense between them, but it had ended up on a good note. The bed was big enough to fit both of them with plenty of space, which was comfortable, as she could keep some distance between them in case she felt uncomfortable to be this close.

But that wasn’t exactly the case.

They had laid in bed with their bodies facing each other and toyed with each other’s hands, intertwining their fingers, under the sheets. They awkwardly talked about their day, with faces so red with a deep blush, but it didn’t last long as they both fell asleep within minutes. And now Eren found himself completely glued to her, as they had moved closer to each other in their sleep.

It fascinated Eren how safe he felt at her side. It took him years to fully process what his feelings towards Mikasa were, and didn’t even admit to himself that he was, indeed, capable of feeling romantic love and attraction, until less than a year ago. His hormones just realized it a bit later than everyone else’s. At first it was his obsession with titans and avenging his mother’s death at their hands or acquiring freedom that had occupied his feelings and senses, making him disregard the rest. Then the memories of the previous bearers of the founding and attack titan weighed down on him.

He had had a hard time yesterday at the ball, trying not to stare at the raven at every opportunity he got, when she was wearing that astounding red dress. That had confirmed the attraction thing. And that kiss in the hallway, the one he had been longing since a long time ago, happening unexpectedly. Every inch of his body was longing for her touch afterwards which made the time spent at rest of the ball agonizing. Their first kiss.

He turned his head around so he would be able to stroke her scalp, caressing it with his lips. He had always loved her hair. Be it long, medium or short, he always thought she looked good, because she was beautiful and he was mesmerized by her beauty. Her hair was different from that every person he had ever met possessed.

But what truly made him warm up to Mikasa was her attentiveness. The way she would always keep calm in almost any situation, that in return would calm him down a bit, or even give him the courage to keep fighting. Like that time he had used the Coordinate, he remembered her words right before he used it. How content and satisfied she was with her life because he was in it and wrapped that scarf around her neck.

She always expressed how she felt as if she owes him for saving her life when they were kids, but the truth is, he was the one who felt indebted to her. She had saved him countless times now, and never asked for anything in return. When Eren figured that out, he realized how much it _moved_ him. That gesture in itself held so much weight, so much power. Eternal gratefulness, something they both felt towards each other.

Eren took a deep breath, sniffing her hair and breathing her scent in. Her hair smelled nice. Really nice. His hand caressed her black hair softly, his mind drowning in the feeling of peace. The combination of it all made him feel alive for the first time in such a long time.

Eren had been so desperate for something like this in the past few months. Something that would make him feel so much emotion and warmth, something that would make him stay. Two months ago, when he gathered up his courage and asked her, he held on to the hope that it could be worth it, and he realized now that he had made the right call. There was absolutely nothing like this. Nothing as blissful and wholesome as this.

Well. Actually, world peace would be nice too, but he hasn’t experienced it ... yet, so he’ll settle with this.

Three loud knocks rapping on his bedroom door awoke Eren from his inner bliss, interrupting his thoughts.

“Eren, are you awake?” Armin’s voice echoed.

_Shit._

The brunette remembered the conversation he had with Armin the day before, when they were waiting for the car that would take them to the gala. Armin had known about Eren’s feelings for Mikasa for a while now. He had insisted that Eren should confess to Mikasa, or at least compliment her that same night. And he had tried to. But the brunette wasn’t used to using words to express things and feelings like that, so he had failed to.

The bright side though was that it all turned out for the best at the end, with Mikasa and Eren’s conversation late last night and how she ended up spending the night in his arms with him feeling her warmth through the night and waking up to her familiar soothing scent in the morning.

Mikasa was now awake, lazily rolling over in the bed, away from his arms, to stretch her arms and legs. Eren cursed to himself, cursing his luck, when the warmth of her body was gone.

“Yeah” He responded to the blonde, slightly annoyed.

“Can I come in?” Armin asked with his voice slightly muffled by the door.

_Hold on a second, Eren thought, Did they want Armin to find out about this so soon?_

Eren then noticed Mikasa’s panicked face and internally decided to tell him later.

“Uh, I- I was just about to get in the shower.” He stuttered.

A moment of silence followed before Armin said, “Okay. Just know that we leave in an hour.”

“Okay.” Eren responded.

Eren and Mikasa both let out a breath of relief, one they both didn’t noticed they were holding.

“Oh, and by the way, if you see Mikasa, tell her that too, please.” Armin concluded before leaving.

“Will do.” Eren said, pressing his lips together.

As they heard Armin’s footsteps fade away as he left, they let out another sigh of relief. However, it wasn’t all hidden and secured.

For sure Armin had already noticed that Mikasa wasn’t in her room, and knowing Armin, he is a smart, intelligent boy who wouldn’t let this pass him by unnoticed. Maybe there wasn’t enough evidence for it, but Eren’s paranoid mind was telling him that the blonde was connecting the dots right at this moment, figuring out the whole story on his own.

He pondered that would be a fun conversation to have once it comes up.

“I should go back to my room and gather all my stuff.” The raven said, as she lazily got up from the bed.

Eren’s alarms went off as his mind pondered on the situation they’re in.

“Wait, I uh,” He stuttered as he didn’t really know what to say. He just didn’t want her to go yet. “Thank you for staying with me.” He said as he got up from bed and walked till he stood in front of her.

He meant it as for staying that night, but it could also be interpreted as him thanking her for being so devoted to him, for following him first into the Cadet Corps, and then to the Survey Corps, when he didn’t think he deserved it.

Mikasa gazed at his green orbs only for a second, before her brows were furrowed into a meaningful expression, nodding and blushing at his comment.

She was so shy around him now compared to when she was out in the battlefield, it still felt strange to see her like that. But he didn’t mind it. Not at all. In fact, he thought it was… cute.

He couldn’t help but take her hand in his, lowering his head to kiss her softly. His other hand raised up to her jaw. Technically it was only their fourth kiss, and the third real one, but he could tell they were both already getting better at it. The kiss didn’t last for too long, but the sweetness of it made up for that.

When they broke apart, Mikasa shyly looked at him for a moment and then averted her gaze. She swallowed.

“I’ll see you later.” She almost whispered, looking all red, and then quickly left the room.

When the door closed, Eren jumped back to his bed, a fool’s smile on his face.

···

She closed the door softly, making sure she wasn’t making much noise to grab any attention. As she turned back, she found Levi staring at her with slightly wide eyes and an amused eyebrow cocked. The raven cursed to herself. She truly had the worst timing ever.

“Good morning.” He said.

She then realized the situation he had caught her in. She was wearing her pyjamas and had just come out of Eren’s room in the morning. It was obvious what it looked like.

“Good morning, captain.” She replied, with as much dignity as she could gather.

“I suppose I shouldn’t ask about what’s happening here,” He said crossing his arms. “so, I won’t.”

Mikasa’s lips formed a line as she tried to wear her most neutral expressionless face and nodded, gratefully, but also dying of embarrassment.

“Meet you in an hour, captain.” She just blurted out, and started pacing towards her room.

“Wait.” He said as he grabbed her arm to stop her, before letting it go to put his hands back into his pockets. “You’re an adult and you probably know it by now, but, just in case.” He paused and rolled his eyes before saying, “use protection and all that crap. We don’t want you getting sick or popping out a little brat now, do we?”

Mikasa didn’t even bother to try and clarify the situation, she knew it wouldn’t matter. Lips still pressed in a line and eyes wide, she just nodded to reassure him. He imitated her nod, and then walked away to wherever he was going in the first place. The raven just tried to push all the intrusive thoughts away and retook her path.

In all honesty, it was endearing to her that her basically-uncle was worried about her, even if he showed it in his own, strange way. Levi was the only relative she had left, and knowing that she could count on him was, at the very least, reassuring.

The boat they were boarding to go back to Paradis wasn’t really big. Just big enough for them to share cabins with one person and travel comfortably. The trip was supposed to be only a few hours long, but they had the cabins in case they wanted to rest or sleep, or rather for much needed privacy. The best part of it was the common room, where one can see the ocean in full view from the comfortable seats placed there.

Mikasa was sitting on one of them with her eyes closed, enjoying the salty smell of the water and the summer breeze, when she felt the seat beside her sink, she reopened her eyes and found Eren with a smile adorning his face. She smiled back at him with the edges of her lips drawing back to form a soft smile, the wind pushing her hair back.

He took her hand within both of his and caressed her knuckles with his thumb.

“I’m glad we’re going back.” He said, looking out at the ocean.

“Me too. I’ve skipped too many training hours.” The raven confessed.

The brunette’s head spun, genuinely surprised.

“What? You haven’t missed a single training in years.” He said smirking. “Who are you, and what did you do to Mikasa?”

She tried to suppress a smile, but failed.

“I was busy thinking too much, and preparing for the ball.” She replied.

He gazed at her, admiring her features. After a few moments, he spoke.

“What were you thinking about?” It was almost a whisper.

She was looking at him too, now, and gave him a knowing look.

“You know what.” She didn’t know how she held his gaze for so long.

He settled closer to her with their shoulders touching. The smirk was still drawn across his face.

“Yeah, but,“ he said interlacing their fingers. “I wanted to hear you say it.”

Mikasa laughed a little and rolled her eyes. She drew closer to him, getting more comfortable, and closed her eyes again.

“Maybe later.”

Eren pressed a kiss to her hair.

And that was the last thing Mikasa remembered before she fell asleep with her head on his shoulder.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on twitter as @hizururuler! and thanks for reading!


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